When my city changed.........

Terror terror terror.
A word frequently heard in trains, on roads n most casually on news channels nowadays. The world has suddenly changed. Everyone looks on with suspicion at anyone with a larger-than-usual bag or with a suspicious walk. Fear and apprehension everywhere inspite of people going along with their daily lives.
I dont need to emphasise more on the reason for all this. Everyone I know was glued to the news channels for 3 days straight during the siege on the Taj, Oberoi and Nariman house. I remember looking at the tv as though transfixed. I recall losing my temper on everyone at home for no good reason. I even remember feeling a lump in my throat seeing the funerals of our great martyrs. I recall smses from my muslim friends asking if me and my family were all right. I even remember those real bad swearwords they used for the terrorists. I then see the sms sent by another friend that said it was all a plan by the "minority community" to take over our country and remember the usual feeling of anger and disbelief.
I have no idea who gains what by killing people they never knew. I have no idea why Pakistan would prosper if there is a blast in my city. All I know is that anger and never before seen agression has taken hold of my fellow citizens. Why dont they realise that a war on Pakistan would maim our country as well? Its a nuclear country we are talking about. And I am in no mood to give my life away for a country that doesnt deserve it. And if we had a strong enough administration, which stupid country with all their armies and intelligence would ever be able to attack us?
I agree we cant keep quite any longer. But we need to make sure we dont fall victims to known people trying to sow seeds of communalism. The politicians must have heard enough. I dont need to waste words on them. But I must say. My mumbai never stopped living. And no terrorist organisation in the world can make it stop. Coz we have people from all stratas of society and communities living together in peace and harmony. And as long as we are united, lets see what a couple of good for nothing brave terrorists, a horde of cowardly politicians and a ridiculously crackpot country can do!
I am not usually dramatic, but this incident has had its impact as it has on all of us.
JAI HIND!!

Life....as they call it

As they say..........life goes on.................
All of a sudden I am 18.........A woman they say....
How can that be?? When I still feel like playing football......still make dumb pj's that make people look at me in disbelief......still jump in joy(literally) when something good happens.
I still feel contented knowing that I had a burger with a friend.....who cares what happens in the stock market.
Very kiddish they say......grow up says mom.....why cant you act like an adult says Miki?
But I cant change overnight.....Iv always been a kid......n I love being one.....
But situations do arise.....that can turn a kid into an adult immediately.

I have got into medical......the profession I always dreamt about....and now I know....its not just a walk in the park. The trouble my parents went through, the tensions flying high.....all for the coveted seat which I have finally got. Still, more than happiness...its determination n resolve that has to work now. My turn now to return the generosity showered on me. My turn to not take things as lightly as I have always been taking them.

Then there are my friends. I have always maintained that I have the best friends in the world. I still stand by what I say...but I would never have even dreamt of the challenges each one would have to face......the smiling cheerful faces have weathered. All of a sudden...studies, careers and girlfriends gain a lot of importance. Members of the opposite sex are not just for tp anymore....there are serious relationships....which when end, cause huge heartbreaks revealing a side I have never seen. Experimenting goes grave when people realise everything is not as hunky dory as it seems. Emotions suddenly dominate rational thinking......and friendships are put to test like never before. Now its suddenly like those days never existed when the sole problems in life were 'whats there for lunch' and 'why India lost out on the series'.

So much to say and so little time......this is all a part and parcel of growing up.....and I know that stuff like these will strengthen bonds and make us adults....with proud scars.

So I will grow up......maybe the process has already started.

An adventure of a lifetime

Everyone is aware of the troubles faced by Kashmir. A place so beautiful deserves a lot better. After hearing and reading all that there is about the tension in the city I would really like to share a first hand experience about my trip to the place. Although it was seven years back, it is still a memory fresh in my mind notorious for being a one in a lifetime experience.

At that time I was about 10 or 11 years old and me, my parents n my sis were on a trip to the famous Vaishnodevi temple. Everything went without a hitch but suddenly my dad was overcome by a fetish for adventure. On the spot we decided to visit Kashmir, the paradise of India. We were apprehensive because of the tension and the bombings there, but decided to take a chance. Next minute without telling our family back home we were on our way to the city.

We got in contact with a driver Chain Singh who was an ex-army officer. He agreed to take us to Srinagar. In the end he turned out to be a blessing in disguise for us. He filled us in on our dangerous journey and warned us that if we heard any sound of mayhem or gunshots we had to put our heads under our car seats immediately. That was enough to make us pack our bags and leave but we still decided to continue. On the way we saw that the road was eerily empty. Not a single vehicle was on the road. A few scattered jawans at every metre kept staring at our car as we whizzed by. Chain Singh then explained that these were "sensitive" areas. He already told us of the possible questions that could be asked by the jawans and the replies that should be given. All this was enough to silence us. Thus came the check points. Chain Singh had already told us of it but my parents were definitely scared to death when they had to leave their two small daughters in the car alone and walk away from the car for some distance. Me and my sister were still kids, oblivious to the harsh surroundings. Fortunately it went smoothly.

We soon got hungry as it was past our lunchtime. Chain Singh stopped the car near an unusual dhaba at the corner of the road. A rather pink Kashmiri welcomed us and told us to be seated. A stiffening silence enveloped us. Me and my sis strolled around outside where there were a few ducks and hens around pecking grains. My sis began chasing them. Soon the dhaba owner and a few men struck a conversation with my parents. Their kind and friendly tone surely provided some solace to my parents. Chain Singh sat in a corner making some signs but my father did not think much about it and continued talking. The men even played with the birds along with us and we ended up calling them 'chacha'. Later when we finished our meals and were washing our hands, Chain Singh came behind us and whispered to my father that those men were militants and we should be careful about what we tell them. My father was too shocked for words. Then he saw the same man talking kindly to my sister some time back now cleaning the barrel of a gun. After whispering in my mom's ears, my parents almost dragged us to the car as we were not ready to go willingly. Once we continued our trip, my parents were really confused as to how the same militants known for bombing and killing innocent people could be such masters of hospitality and kindness, a confusion that even I share today.

Our next stop was the houseboat on Dal lake where we had to stay for three days. The houseboat we got was owned by a Mr.Basheera and was named Golden Lily. Basheera was very kind and told us to be comfortable. As we made our way around the houseboat we noticed the rooms were very spacious and beautiful. Basheera had three kids, a wife in a burkha and old parents. Their living depended on the income generated by tourists which was meagre due to the trying times. As evening settled we realised there was no electricity. Basheera told us that the electric powerhouse had been bombed a few days back and we should remain indoors as no one should know about tourists staying there. Later at night we dozed away fitfully clutching the hot water bags given to us with the temperature dropping to -5 degrees.
The next morning Chain Singh and Basheera had an argument about going to Gulmarg, the next trip in our itinery. Basheera said it was a very sensitive place with the recent firing and killing of many Sikh men. Such inflamed words had become almost a habit to our ears and we decided to go along with the plan. On the way there were the usual jawans on guard. Indeed I will always salute their spirit for standing there in the most severe of winters without a fear in their souls. Gulmarg turned out to be a place straight out of a picture postcard!! It was a most enchanting and beautiful place. The guides took us to a store where we found warm clothes on hire. At the same time a bus with some Bangladeshi tourists arrived and then left just as unexpectedly. No one knew the reason. As we sledged through the vast snow, we were introduced to Raj Kapoor's bungalow along with a few others belonging to Kashmiri pandits who had fled long ago in fear of their lives after a massacre. The guides were very kind and were pleased to play with us. They even made us a snowman and took us to a warm cabin with a furnace when we developed frostbite. Exhausted after four hours we left quite pink in the face. The jawan in a chowkie outside asked us if we had faced any problem or if we liked the place and would wish to come again. The next two days we frequented Shikara to shop for some Kashmiri goods and the Shiva temple.
The next place we had to go was Amritsar. To reach there we had to stop at Jammu. But news arrived that due to elections Jammu would be closed for six days!! However we had to reach Amritsar in two days or we would miss the train that would take us back home. The curfew would leave us stranded in a hostile place for God knows how long!! Then Chain Singh said he would take us to Amritsar in a day by car and we would leave early in the morning. Quickly agreeing, we set out at dawn. Chain Singh was surely sent to us by the heavens above as he drove throughout the day like a mad man and finally brought us to Amritsar. Once there we could not thank him enough for all his help and support and tipped him heavily. He responded humbly and fulfilling his duty waved goodbye. Thus we returned to Mumbai safe and sound.
Although I have had many journeys all these years all have faded from memory except this one. Thanks to the fact that we returned home unscathed from a place filled with beauty and terror. Hence I thought of sharing the experience with all my friends. Kashmir, the paradise of India, the most beautiful place in the world with all its kind and friendly people surely deserves much better!!

Education-a business??

Getting oneself educated has become quite a challenge in the present days. Admission.....the highly feared and respected word is more of a business venture now. Firstly all such admissions take place only on the basis of one exam. Thus the whole course of one's life is decided only by the result that follows. If something happens during the exam or a student falls sick, he or she loses out on a whole year in a highly competitive world. Even this time there were many cases of time mismanagement during the CET exam due to the carelessness of certain supervisors, me being one such victim. However there is no way out. All anyone can do is curse their own bad luck as nobody, neither the college centre nor the DMER is prepared to take any action against the guilty. However another way out is if one has a rich father. No good marks?? Its ok!! Just pay a few lacs and d coveted seat is yours!! The system is almost foolproof what with agents and touts and college authorities all hand in glove in the money minting business.
Forgetting my own woes, I could also mention the harrowing times faced by the students running helter skelter for the junior college admissions. It was so easy for the state government to introduce the percentile system without giving much thought. But its long term implications were seen when even students scoring 89% are struggling to get into a decent enough college. Is it fair to increase the percentages of the SSC students just so that they are on par with the other boards?? Doesnt this make it unjust to students from other boards who have to score about 2% more than the SSC students to be on par with them? Instead of bringing on such childish solutions to a simple problem, the state government would have done better to completely revamp the current education system. When one begins a particular profession......it is not based on how well he answers questions but how well he practically manages his work. For this reason practicals should be given as much weightage as theory. Students should be urged to think......not jus learn by rote everything present in the textbook. There should be assignments assigned throughout the year giving one a chance to actually learn what is taught. The students thus emerging would not just be nervous wrecks but would know how to react in situations that demand their expertise.
Concluding.........I know all that I say is not really going to come to the notice of the authorities who really can make a difference........however I pray that one day the same people who rule every students' education........in short their life and career......would have the courage and the brains to make the necessary reforms urgently required to curb the increasingly degrading system of education in our country.

The cliched reality

Whats with all the reality shows on TV these days?? Every channel seems to have caught up. Everytime I change a channel, I am welcomed by wannabe singers screeching away,
famous judges sitting royally and passing largely critical comments, contestants facing the camera and pleading for smses to save them. Most of the time, there is the usual rona dhona by the singers citing an ailing relative or hurt due to poor marks. In no way do I try to be insensitive, but tears and melodramas have become so common on TV, I just cannot stifle a yawn at these times.
Speaking of melodrama, how can we forget the favourite saas-bahu soaps, the master of tears and sorrow. The fiction is even more than a Tom and Jerry Show which appears quite sane when compared. I have never seen such active eyed, scheming women in real life. And women actually find them interesting enough to shed more tears(sob) and watch them loyally everyday.
To top it all, we have our news channels who never seem to run out of ghosts, spirits, miracles and accidents. And the sensation they try to create!! The screen blackens, letters appear in slow motion military style, a burly male's voice announces the breaking news. In the end it turns out the so called "village ghost" was actually a squirrel that used to shake the leaves a bit too harshly. In the absence of news there is always some input by comedy shows which have ceased to be comical.
Not to forget the celebrity couple dance shows....the couples just cant seem to romance enough on screen with love so pure and eternal, complete with mushy lines and dreamy eyed looks! That they break up or divorce a few months later is a different matter(or so it seems).
Truly now the only realistic shows remaining have turned out to be the evergreen cartoons!! Sigh...Indeed I would much rather have Bugs Bunny slam Daffy Duck with a board than watch Tulsi's son reemerge with plastic surgery!!

The phunny language

The english language has gained quite a foothold in the metropolis these days. Of course it has benefits in terms of sophistication and globalisation and all those "big words". Still I find it quite amusing what some memorised words from a dictionary and a fake foreign accent can do. There are so many people all around who think that once they know the language, all their mundane social problems are over. Of course there is the slight foreboding of what the moral cultural brigade would think of the poor soul. Keping that apart(I really wouldnt like a blackened face), conversations such as these have become as common as the various high pitched screeching singers on TV:

"Hello, what is your good name?"
Oh what the heck...my name had to be good if my parents thought I could live with it forever.

"Oh keemee!! Nice nice."
Not many things have bugged me more than my name being pronounced as though it were a dish(kheema for reference. Please bear with me even if it doesnt rhyme.)

"Yes I am take outing the book"
Er....dont think my comments are needed here....

"Teacher, see to him!!"
How the teacher keeps a straight face is still a wonder.

"Shut up your mouth!!"
One of the most common which instead of making me do the needful, makes me squeal with snorts.(my nose is usually clean)

And the regular....
"He was aksing me...."

Of course the only sentence said with perfect grammar and spelling is "I love you" as it has been the one line used and abused in almost every movie and saas bahu soap.

Anyway, time to put an end to the crap now...
I can hear my mom "aksing me to help the kitchen"
Till next time......

What the future holds...

The CET results are out.
All I see everyday are friends running around in sheer tension and confusion, hoping to get the desired seat and profession. All that anyone has on mind these days is admissions and cutoffs.
When I call a friend to ask how they are, all I get is "How did you score? Which college did u try for?? What are you going to do now??" As though hearing my confusion would somehow calm their frayed nerves. Somehow amidst all this confusion and chaos, I sense a feeling I had always tried to ignore. We, that is to say me and all my friends, the same old people who laughed and screamed and acted like the most immature brats around, are finally growing up. The gnawing fear at the back of my mind tells me that nothing will be the same anymore. Everyone has different hopes and aspirations. Each one has dreams they will strive to fulfil. Close friends will leave the city, or have such hectic schedules that there never will be the same old time to goof around. Files and assignments will fill life. Casual meetings wont be as easy as they have always been. Who knows how many will remain in contact once far away. As much as I try to convince myself that I will always hold on to dear friends I cant help noticing how my parents and many adults around me dont seem to have many school and college friends still around. They only vaguely remember fond memories. I know I am being selfish. I know this is all a part of achieving goals and something that everyone goes through. There is no point in trying to hold on to the present wishing it will never fade away. However I hope this "grown up" phenomenon does not overpower me and I still have the mind if not the time, to indulge in ridiculous n goofy behaviour once in a while; with all the friends I have practically grown up with and laughed like crazy with, on the most stupid things. Concluding, hope this atmosphere of chaos ends soon. I really need to visit a few friends to continue my extensive 'chatterbox' habit.

Birthday blues

It was the birthday after all..........
I got up early...mom waking me up for the usual temple visit every year.
So was I excited?? Please, that used to happen when I was 9.
I mean whats the big deal anyway?? I was born 18 years back on this day...If someone could get back that day it would be worth celebrating!!(ahem)
The phone calls began....one with an extremely shrill, high pitched, excited voice.......as though my being born on the earth was the most happening thing that ever happened to mankind!

"Hiiiii Kiiimmmmiiiiii!!!
Haapppyyy Birrthdayyyy!!"

I just couldnt recollect who this blessed soul was.

"Thanks a lot!!" I gushed.....still waiting for that sudden memory.........

"Sooooooooo Kimmmmiii!!
What plans today??
Any partyyy??
What yaar..u didnt call me...Hei hei!!"

Heck.....that annoying laugh...Iv heard that before.....Er.....now what was I to say??

"Arre no yaar......what party.....I am not a kid anymore..."
(My patent dialogue when no good-extra hyper-virtually unknown persons ask for on the spot parties even if my cousin's father's uncle's son gets a job)

"Hmmmm.......arre you remember me na?? Its so and so!! Hei hei hei"
As though the declaration of her name would send me jumping with joy.....
And that beautiful laugh was all I needed to complete my day......

"Huh?? Arre of course yaar....how can I forget?"
( a vague memory of shrieks n excited gossip from school....).

"Thank god! After all we were such good friends......
remember you used to say hi to me in school??"

Oh yeah!! Like she was the only person in the whole wide school who received a hi......
"Er yeah yeah.....so how are the vacations going??"

"Suuupppperbbb!! I just returned from my uncle's place in America.
I was thinking of going to London also but lets see....
Where did you go??"

Suddenly realising the dare to go one up.....

"Er.....nowhere yaar......In mumbai only.....there are many places to roam here itself ..."
"Yeah sure...."(a hint of a snigger or was it my imagination?)

"Anyway This is my number ok?? If you ever remember me.....that is if you ever do...(the usual emotional crap.....now where have I heard that before...) then please call. You dont mind if I call you sometimes no?? Hei hei"

(of course I do.......why dont you take this horrible laugh and move to your fantastic uncle's place permanently??)

"Of course not....I dont mind..."

"Greeeaaaaaatttt!! Sooo enjoooyy your birthday ok??
Dont keep studying all day scholllyyyy!!"

(Dunno how she could have thought I would study during vacations.......)

"Er...yeah ok.....thanks again....er....I have to go out now....bye"

"Okkk byeeeeee......hav fun huh!!"

Click.

It was a sigh even my sister in the next room heard....

Mystique of the ocean

The tide roars high.......breaking mast like the fury of the storm.
It crashes on the bank....as I try to glimpse its secrets.
The depth behind those chilly waters, the mystery beneath the surface.....
as it tries to hide all that is within.....
And when I look in wonder at the unknown facing me.....
I sight a bit of myself....looking right back at me......
Those waters splashing with glee, yet holding back thoughts bare and pure..
portraying a wild and troubled side, amidst an aura of calm and dignity.
As the ocean takes back its hands and recedes back into shadow.....
I feel the quite submission.......learnt through decades....
Contented I walk away...finally understanding the oceans' draw.
Coz it enchantingly displays the turbulence......
of souls young and raw.